• girl: babe come over
  • boy: I can't I'm having a threesome with an older couple
  • girl: my parents aren't home
  • boy: I know
(Source: deanprincesster)

pixyled:

and-down-we-go:

My Mom just accidentally prematurely sent an email to an accounting firm… It was supposed to say ‘I am afraid that we will have to postpone our meeting”

but she hit send when all it said was

Hi Jeffrey,
      I am afraid

THIS POS T GETS ME EVEYRTIME

(Source: and-down-we-go)
anthrakia:

good.

anthrakia:

good.

(Source: grindlebone)

bitchmobsentai:

Capybaras are apparently the chill bro homies of nature, hanging out with everyone. i want one.

gonthorrian:

How’s your sex life Greg?

thatninja:

Oh, what the hell.

Fried chicken.

(Source: thatninja)

c0ry-c0nvoluted:

Creepy shit. 

(Source: c0ry-c0nvoluted)
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Hello. My name is David, and welcome to my blog. This blog tends to vary in it's content and will include such things as: Creepy/paranormal stuff, food, cute things, video game stuff, and much more.
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